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Funny, but not true.

According to Snopes:

This list of cheeky answers to dumb tourist queries has been circulated on the Internet in various forms since at least 2000. While 2006 iterations of the list position it as having to do with the 2010 Winter Olympics (which will be held in Vancouver, British Columbia), earlier Canadian versions merely noted the questions and answers had come from "An International Tourism Website" (always unnamed).

This list of howlers exists in at least two other forms, however: Australian and South African. It is an omnibus humor piece, in that the questions and insolent responses thereto can be reworked to fit most any country.

In 2000, the purported tourist inquiries were presented within a framework of their having been asked in relation to the summer Olympics (which were held in Sydney, Australia, that year). Versions being circulated offered the claims that these questions and answers were from "the Sydney Olympic Committee via their Web site," or were "Questions e-mailed to the Olympics Info Line," or merely "Posted on an Australian Tourism Website."

Yeah! What He said!

Don't piss in the pot just cause you don't like the coffee

Smash: I had a feeling that it was another internet myth.....but it's still funny.

They walk among us, they reproduce, and they VOTE

IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD: I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a
new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the
removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: "too many deer
were being hit by cars" and he didn't want them to cross there anymore. This
one was from Kingman, KS.
_______________________________________

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE: My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a
taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said
he was sorry, but they only had iceberg. And he was a Kansas City chef!
________________________________________

IDIOT SIGHTING: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an
airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without
your knowledge? To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how
would I know? He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask." Happened
in Birmingham, Ala.

_______________________________________

IDIOT SIGHTING: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross
the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of
mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it
signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What
on earth are blind people doing driving?!" She was a probation officer in
Wichita, KS

______________________________________

IDIOT SIGHTING: At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was
leaving the company due to "downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully,
"This is fun. We should do this more often." Not a word was spoken. We all
just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare. This was a
bunch at Texas Instruments.

______________________________________

IDIOT SIGHTING: I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back
into itself and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would
not turn on. A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff's office no less.
________________________________________

IDIOT SIGHTING: When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to
pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the
service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the
driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively
tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I
announced to the technician, "it's open!" To which he replied, "I know - I
already got that side." This was at the Ford dealership in Canton,
Mississippi!

Doesn't matter Mikey, it was very funny. I laughed out loud too.

Drop Bears. Before the Internet, we used to have lots of fun with Uncle Sam's Misguided Children, telling them about the Drop Bears, the Deadly Stinging Trees, the 25-ft long Crocs, and so on.

ROFLMAO!
I'm going to have to copy this and send it to my Aussie friend!