Another chunk of humor for this slightly cold Wednesday morning.
Please, save the you male chauvinistic pig!! comments - it's humor.
It's great to be a man:
- Your last name stays put.
- The garage is all yours.
- Wedding plans take care of themselves.
- Chocolate is just another snack.
- You can be president.
- You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
- Car mechanics tell you the truth.
- You don't care if someone notices your new haircut.
- The world is your urinal.
- You never have to drive to another gas station because one’s just too icky.
- Same work...more pay.
- Wrinkles add character.
- Wedding Dress $5,000; Tux rental $100.
- People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
- New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
- One mood - ALL the time.
- Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
- You know stuff about tanks.
- A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
- You can open all your own jars.
- You can leave the motel bed unmade.
- You can kill your own food.
- You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
- If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
- Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
- You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.
- Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
- You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking: "He must be mad at me."
- You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a gift.
- If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong friends.
- You are not expected to know the names of more than colors.
- You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
- You almost never have strap problems in public.
- You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
- The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
- You don't have to shave below your neck.
- One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
- You can do your nails with a pocketknife.
- You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
- Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives on December 24th, in 45 minutes.
UPDATE:
Cait responds to this list with one for women:
IT'S BETTER TO BE A WOMAN
- We got off the Titanic first.
- We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynaecological disorder excuses.
- Taxis stop for us.
- We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
- No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival The Speedo.
- We don't have to pass wind to amuse ourselves.
- If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
- We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her bottom.
- We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
- We have the ability to dress ourselves.
- We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
- If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
- There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
- We'll never regret piercing our ears.
- We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
- We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence, because they aren't listening anyway.
Touché Cait!
Comments on Men Rule
IT'S BETTER TO BE A WOMAN.
We got off the Titanic first.
We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynaecological disorder excuses.
Taxis stop for us.
We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival The Speedo.
We don't have to pass wind to amuse ourselves.
If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her bottom.
We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
We have the ability to dress ourselves.
We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
There are times ! when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
We'll never regret piercing our ears.
We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence, because they aren't listening anyway.
|| Posted by Cait, April 13, 2005 12:14 PM ||You say sumptin, cait?
|| Posted by scroff, April 13, 2005 07:19 PM ||Our winter "outfit" is summer gear with a coat.
We can greet old friends with vulgar statements and they know we are glad to see them.
If we start to lose hair on our head, we can shave it off and look cool.
|| Posted by Dennis, April 13, 2005 08:24 PM ||