Things to ponder while waiting at the dentist's office:
- If you spin an Oriental around several times, does he become disoriented?
- If people from Poland are called "Poles", why aren't people from Holland called "Holes"?
- Why do we say something 'is out of whack'? What's a whack?
- Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
- If a pig loses its cool, is it disgruntled?
- Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? Shouldn't they be wearing night gowns?
- If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
- When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
- Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
- Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.
- When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?
- Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person drives a race car not called a racist?
- Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?
- Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
- Why is it that if someone tells you there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them. But if they tell you a wall has wet paint, you have to touch it to be sure?
- Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
- What hair color do they put on the drivers licenses of bald men?
- I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older, then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam.
- I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
- Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mail men could look for them while they delivered the mail?
- How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
- If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
- You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
- No one ever says "It's only a game," when their team is winning.
- Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
- Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
- If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
- If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
- If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
Comments on Pondering...
Here's another one for you:
Since lingere is on for such a short time why does it cost so much?
|| Posted by Paul Drabek, March 9, 2005 10:37 AM ||Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
Ooooh, you're a hoot!
|| Posted by irishlass, March 13, 2005 05:32 PM ||Maybe not, but they are far less likely to regret it afterwards.
|| Posted by triticale, March 18, 2005 06:57 PM ||