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June 10, 2005

Don't Doink

Pope Promotes Abstinence to Fight AIDS
VATICAN CITY - Pope Benedict XVI urged African bishops Friday to keep up their fight against AIDS, reiterating church teaching that abstinence is the only "fail-safe" way to prevent the spread of the virus.

Seems quite simple: don't doink around with lots of people and you severely reduce the chances of contracting the Black Plaque of the 20th century.

The Pope's simple message reminds me of something Sam Kinison once professed:

If you don't trust the pu**y, why are you fu*king the pu**y!?

Next time you get that I-gotta-get-me-some-of-that-fine-looking-stuff feeling when looking at a member of the opposite sex (yes, chicks do stupid things too) just consider if DEATH is worth getting a piece of trim or a hot meat-stick....

|| , 09:53 AM || Permalink || Comments (17) || Add your comment

Comments on Don't Doink

I'm not Catholic, but I like this Pope already!

|| Posted by Davey, June 10, 2005 10:50 AM ||

I'm sick of hearing about abstinence. No hit..if you don't fuck, you won't catch any STD's..that's a no-brainer, however it is totally ridiculous to think this is going to happen. let the condoms frow freely throughout the world, educate people, get the drugs out there that are needed for those already stricken, etc. the pope should STFU.

|| Posted by ruthie, June 10, 2005 11:24 AM ||

What ever you do don't educate people to stop screwing everything that moves, that way when they get the drugs they can live longer so they can screw more people so they can fully exploit the percentage of times condoms fail to prevent transmission and infect even more people. There's a winning solution.

|| Posted by the Pirates, June 10, 2005 01:09 PM ||

While the Holy Father is quite correct, there's more to be said. The horrendous African practice of female genital mutilation is a major contributor to the spread of the HIV virus on the Dark Continent. It creates permanent, permanently vulnerable lesions in the pubic area, through which the virus can enter with an efficiency incomparably higher than under normal sexual conditions.

Anal intercourse produces similar damage, which is why homosexuals are still by far the largest risk group for the disease.

|| Posted by Francis W. Porretto, June 10, 2005 01:17 PM ||

...however it is totally ridiculous to think this is going to happen.

The thought that occurs to me about this is that's why marriage is pushed by the Church and some people - a marriage in which both man and wife honor each other and don't doink around is the one way to severely reduce contracting all sorts of nasty crap....as opposed to those that say 'free love' and don't bat an eye at someone sleeping around.

If abstinence isn't an option for some people, then being monogomous is the only substitute.

|| Posted by Mad Mikey, June 10, 2005 03:47 PM ||

Aids is the only epidemic that could be cured by a zipper.

...however it is totally ridiculous to think this is going to happen.

In which case, pardon me whilst I refuse to pay extra taxes so you could die slowly.

|| Posted by Yogimus, June 10, 2005 07:48 PM ||

In which case, pardon me whilst I refuse to pay extra taxes so you could die slowly.

Sounds good to me! I like that idea, and while you're at it pardon me while I refuse to pay extra taxes so you can bomb the shit out of defensless countries in illegal wars, or support "Faith Based Charity", or any number of stupid things that are coming down the "conservative" pike.

And you know, Drinking and driving causes alot of deaths, and it's one form of death that can be avoided by not drinking, so lets everybody stop drinking, or better yet, lets outlaw booze altogether, or maybe driving, since it causes so many teen deaths each year. That's it, why spend all that money on educating them about seat belts and traffic safety, lets just not let them drive until they're 25. And lets not waste all that money on stop DWi programs, lets just do away with alcohol.

marriage is pushed by the Church

Well, only for some people... and I guess married people don't sleep around...

stop screwing everything that moves

Most people don't do that... But Neal Horsley did say his first girlfriend was a mule, and that anybody who grew up on a farm screwed animals, so I guess he'd fall into that catagory. By the way, what is the percentage of times condoms fail?

I can only assume that people who would support this idea are those who couldn't get laid if they were an egg.

This thread sounds like the Reefer Madness of sex education.

|| Posted by scroff, June 11, 2005 01:33 AM ||

One minor difference: The "war" has nothing to do with personal responsibility, and it's effects are to be felt nation wide.

|| Posted by Yogimus, June 11, 2005 04:33 AM ||

Or we can put it this way...

You tell a man 30 times to keep his dick out of a rattlesnake's mouth, and he shows up on your door one day suffering from a snakebite... how much pity EXACTLY do you want me to have?

You could always bring in the cultural effects and the spread of the disease through barbaric customs, but when I suggest we conduct a bit of scorched earth policy down those parts, you get all uppetty about "unilateral aggression".

So I guess we can not be the world POLICE force... just the firemen, medics, animal control, etc. but heaven forbid we try solving the cultural problem that is at the root of this disease.

|| Posted by Yogimus, June 12, 2005 03:30 AM ||

You tell a man 30 times to keep his dick out of a rattlesnake's mouth, and he shows up on your door one day suffering from a snakebite... how much pity EXACTLY do you want me to have?

You see? Now, this is where I start to get confused. This is supposedly a "Christian Nation" founded on "Christian Philosophy" (it's not, but for the moment that's beside the point)

We use "Christian" ideas like spreading god given rights to oppressed Iraqis, and you say we have to solve the "cultural problem that is at the root of this disease", but then when it comes to something like helping out people who are in trouble who have different ideas or "cultures" that you don't agree with, they can flounder on their own. When I say "you", I mean "Compassionate Conservatives" in general.

I'm confused because I remember reading

Matthew 18:21-22
21 Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? 22 Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.

So I guess I'd have to say that in this "Christian Country", the feeling should be that we forgive them their tresspasses and help them out.

The "war" has nothing to do with personal responsibility, and it's effects are to be felt nation wide.

The war absolutely has to do with personal responsibility, especially of those members of President Bush, Inc., who need to be held accountable. By your way of thinking about personal responsibility, those who are wounded in Iraq should be left to their own devices, since their is no draft and they joined up knowing full well the possible ramifications.

I agree that people need to take responsibility for their actions, but they also need to be given enough information to make the right decision, and providing people with condoms and treating them if they become infected with HIV is the "Christian" thing to do.

I notice that no one got back to me on the percentage of times that condoms fail...

|| Posted by scroff, June 12, 2005 10:20 AM ||

The war absolutely has to do with personal responsibility, especially of those members of President Bush, Inc., who need to be held accountable.

No it doesn't Scroff. You're attempting to compare apples to WD-40.

There is a difference between acting nationally in the best interests of your nation and eyeballing some chick and thinking 'well, the wife won't find out...'

|| Posted by Mad Mikey, June 12, 2005 10:44 AM ||

By your way of thinking about personal responsibility, those who are wounded in Iraq should be left to their own devices, since their is no draft and they joined up knowing full well the possible ramifications.

Sure. Because they are out there engaging in risky behavior for their own gratification. EXACTLY the same.

|| Posted by Yogimus, June 12, 2005 05:01 PM ||

And religion does not fly with me, as I don't much believe in it.

|| Posted by Yogimus, June 12, 2005 05:04 PM ||

No it doesn't Scroff. You're attempting to compare apples to WD-40.

There is a difference between acting nationally in the best interests of your nation and eyeballing some chick and thinking 'well, the wife won't find out...'

Bush didn't act in the best interest of the nation, that much has to be obvious to anybody by now. And there is no difference between cheating on your wife and starting an illegal invasion, except that no one gets killed or maimed when you cheat on your wife (hopefully).

Sure. Because they are out there engaging in risky behavior for their own gratification. EXACTLY the same

Uh huh. And having sex is EXACTLY the same as sticking your dick in a rattlesnake's mouth, must suck to be you.

And religion does not fly with me, as I don't much believe in it.

Do you believe that the US was founded on Christian principles? Do you believe the garbage that Republicans try to put over that the founding fathers were christians? I don't buy into any religion either, but when people try to cram their beliefs down other people's throats in the form of laws that will directly effect their lives, I get a little uppity.

|| Posted by scroff, June 13, 2005 12:12 AM ||

...Only good government is incompetent government.

|| Posted by Yogimus, June 13, 2005 12:26 AM ||

As for the snake analogy... makes a hell of a lot more sense than the war analogy. After all, what POSSIBLE benefit could be had from banging someone? About the same as sticking your dick in a rattlesnake's mouth.

|| Posted by Yogimus, June 13, 2005 02:29 AM ||

Bush didn't act in the best interest of the nation, that much has to be obvious to anybody by now.

Hate to say this, but this is an opinion and isn't a 'fact' to utilize for this discussion.

And there is no difference between cheating on your wife and starting an illegal invasion, except that no one gets killed or maimed when you cheat on your wife (hopefully).

Again, see the above for the validity of this perspective....

Don't twist this into another futile discussion about the good/bad aspects of Operation Iraqi Freedom; we're talking about people being stupid enough to sleep around, get some nasty disease, and then complain that the warnings about this behavior weren't stringent enough.

|| Posted by Mad Mikey, June 13, 2005 01:56 PM ||

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